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Migozarad!

Ek kadam mein kai saal jo guzre hai,
In a step many years have gone by
kai roz kai mah yu hi behisaab bikhre hai
many days , many months have been scattered without any count

Woh kehte hai kar lo samjhauta girte ret se aksar
They say to compromise with falling sand many times
himmat saraab hai jo mit jaayegi sehra mein dab kar
Courage is a mirage which will get buried in the desert

Na hi ilm hai unhe khwahisho ka, na hi tammanao ka sabab
Neither they  have the knowledge of dreams, nor the cause of desires
Nahi jaante hai woh harkat shab-o-roz ka, na hi waqt ki fitrat ka samajh
Neither they  know about the movement of night and day, nor they understand the nature of time
Mera raqeeb mere dua mein pal pal kahe
” migozarad!”
My watcher (almighty) says in my prayer
“It will pass!”
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Karwan (gazal)

Phir aaj sham se guzri tanhai hai

woh jo rehte the mere nazro mein boondon ki tarah

aaj fir wahi ek mulaqaat yaad aayi hai


Har taraf ek sadme ka majma sa lage

woh gile kabhi halke halke se jo gire

nazm ki parchai mein aaj jaise aabshaar rukh kar aayi hai

phir aaj sham se guzri tanhai hai


Do palak waqt ki taabir jo sune

Madham madham si chandni mein kahi

harkatein soz ki bandishon is kadar aaj heena si rang laayi hai

phir aaj sham se guzri tanhai hai


Mere maalik..mere khuda..mujhse ek roz jo mile

ek sabab roshni ka bedaag hame bhi dikhe

hai qayamat ki jo roshni se ruswaai hai

phir aaj sham se guzri tanhai hai


Ye jo chalka hai mere gumaan ki tarah

hai nahi woh ek mausam ka asir

ek karwaan hai jalte kisson ka jo is taraf nazar aayi hai


Phir aaj sham se guzri tanhai hai

woh jo rehte the mere nazro mein boondon ki tarah

aaj fir wahi ek mulaqaat yaad aayi hai


  • mulaqaat :- Meeting
  • majma :- crowd
  • aabshaar :- waterfall
  • taabir :- meaning
  • bandishon :- constraints
  • harkatein  :- activity
  • ruswaai :- infamous, dishonoured
  • gumaan :- ego
  • asir :- prisoner
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Insatiable [Part-1]

He has been looking outside the window for quite sometime. Yet he was not able to decipher the hyperbolic and surreptitious thoughts, which were hinting of a caffeine dependent night. A school of wisdom seems to shout and blind every other alternative.

Sometimes knowing is a curse. It’s better to rather live in ignorance than with the knowledge which is indicative of not incident or accident rather happenstance. Cursed are those who have noise inside their head. A constant persiflage, that grows inside you. A pregnant thought which seems impregnable. It’s not just sound which annoys, it is its decedent which under law of mutation completely tries to overpower you. And perhaps that is the time of shock! A reality check

Scions of light fervently crawl under the street of hollow untouchable light. He lights his cigarette. A stick with a crown jewel shining at the end waiting to be kissed by his master err slave. Rings of smoke arise in the sky with each breath making shapes of varied dance forms in their truest sense. It can be dance of joy, dance of love, dance of hatred or dance of insatiability.

You try to breathe slowly but your heart wants to defy your control. It becomes a race. Lungs pump and do their best but the blood in your body is yours, which like a true soldier and with highest degree of viscosity tries to hold them back.

He closes his eyes and thinks about the slow and steady rush of waves. How every single drop joins each other hands and in cadent style of action form waves which gives a sense of earth spin. Under the space of setbacks, lies and betrayal, his earth was spinning and his attitude were the waves splashing on the shore of his mind.

Today he has lost everything and there is nothing to back him up. So is this really over? Is this the time to quit? “A passionate guy”, He was fondly known by all. The revolving star in his eyes seems to be flickering in the extremities.

He reads the lines she wrote in his diary when they were parting hands, “If you are losing faith, have faith in my faith”

Below that a quote was scribbled in an unintelligent fashion from book of Shantaram “If fate doesn’t make you laugh, you don’t get the joke”. He turns another page with yet another puff.

He reads the lines written over there,” Will I be able to live my dream ever?? A dream kept on the hook because of rationalities. Risk averseness and clouded judgments. Unless you move out of shadows you can’t see the light though you ought to face scorching sun and sweat but at the end of day when sun subsides, you dream .You dream of the light and the whispers of morning sparrow

A drop from the corner of eyes guess escaped at that moment. It’s been years of fighting. An elusive war, which has been raging for years.

Sometimes you just wish to go back to the starting point of life and say “Let me try again“. It’s not a question of what and who now. It has become a question of how long.

His chain of thoughts suddenly takes a back seat as the cindery stick reaches its end. The mystic fuming life kissed his master and gives a wakeup call.

* to be continued…*

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Stratified

In blues and whites
In the bushes of Kites

They cut across..they come across
They turn and toss ..they prune and pause

Through the oceans of perpendicular velocity
Through the canter of viscous ferocity

The rise of wise.. They smile and apprise
The miniscule shadows of meadows.. they vilify and surmise

The turning board and dices of chimera
must be a prodigy of satirical era

The stage of necromancer.. The dance of Zephyr
purple gaze of haze ..My genie surrender to her desire

I wish but I can’t.. I can but I wont.. I may divide
My dreams under the rainbow lies stratified…

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Causal

No Not very far it was lying in the inherited island of destiny

No Not so close either it was singing in the beguiled harbour of epiphany

Sure, though there is nothing as sorrow

Pure, though there is nothing as love of tomorrow

Unseen, unarmed, ambiguous is this romance

What you call ambition..is the aberration of chance

Causal are these shadows..they disappear to appear

Plausible it may seem to be not..but so is the genesis and fear

I , scion of randomness, have chosen to defy and deny this stigma

I, the mass and matter of this sphere of pervasive enigma..


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City Lights

Try for the stars..hold them in your palm
You will see falling angels..mystic but so calm
Blow them away in that shallow valley
And you will find..the calling..calling of city lights…

Gone are the season of rust and deception
With the sunshine and the dust of perception
Crashing and burning with the heights
You can hear them calling..shining city lights…

Somewhere in the night..life has lost its time
Where Veil of mist is broken, so is the rhyme
Picture makes a promise that is yet to come true
Clasped hands whispering..whispering prayers of city lights…

The altar of wishes…tapered candles on the wall
Heart that breathes with the fireflies of your call
Simmering eyes..a quiet gesture..a quiet suggestion
The play of inane silence.. Silence of the city lights…

Meeting thee on the other side of the window
Where the night is the new day and present is the day of tomorrow
The constellation of roadsides and lamp posts
Try to find me..in the lost..lost city lights…

So when you fall..and night grows longer
When you need…and it gets colder
Will catch your dreams..and appear
As I am alive..alive in those city lights…

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Impasse…

I wanna love you..Love has made me understand what honesty is.

What it is to live life and to improve. How to try to be good.

and..

and love doesn’t ask me to marry you..wait for you.. leave you or stay with you… everything seems immaterial..

I just ask,hope and pray to love you honestly all my life..Its just If I dont get you.. I just cant be with anyone else, which against my wish I will have to..

and this will not allow me to love you..

and….

I don’t want that to happen

-AnonymoUS

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Prismatic Dimensions


I am lost..perhaps in land of dunes and mirages
In obfuscated images ..in syllables of visages
To hold..to behold..I need thee for my constant premonitions
Says..my epiphany of varied stochastic ruminations…
Hence
I looked for thee in the shades of days…
In the oasis of life.. in the shadows of rays…
Through the looking glass.. Through submissions and omissions…
I finally have found you.. behind the veil of prismatic dimensions…


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Stochastic ruminations!

My Life (or of anyone I guess) and this journey, I believe, could be well summarized in these three words “Pursuit of happiness”. This 2 years journey here in IIM Shillong has been the same .. A pursuit, a constant endeavour of finding happiness…

This part of my life is called “ Delicious ambiguity”

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next…Delicious ambiguity …”

Two attempts at CAT… finally a call… IIM Shillong. Apart from various other B-school calls this one was more special. It was the result of more than 10 years of dreaming to get into an institute that starts with “Indian Institute”. Yes, not getting into IIT because of sheer luck or destiny has always been a sore side of this engineer’s life. It took a lot of courage while working and at the same time preparing for CAT.  Finally getting a bucket full of calls and converting them was defining moment.

On converting of IIM Shillong, all the joiners were apprehensive of this place. There were three main figures in this part who helped me to make my decision “ Sarvesh Chowdhury” (whom I knew through pagalguy), Sujal Kumar( My engineering days batchmate) and Amit Aggarwal ( IIM Calcutta PGP class of 2010). I decided to take lead and infact went to visit IIM Shillong. One of the first persons to enter campus and had interaction with director and other faculties who all were pretty busy with institute’s infrastructure work..  Though I thought IIM S was at disadvantage with no proper infrastructure in place, no surety of faculty and no alumni, this seemed to be a logical decision at that time.  To put in Brand management terms -“future generator of cash flows”. So based on this, I finally decided to join IIM Shillong

I also conveyed all the information to rest of the batch and many decided to come by.

This part of my life is called “Alice in wonderland”

MANAC, QT, BS et. -so many of them. Subjects I never had a hint about started coming to my life. The ghosts of finance did trouble me a lot. Anyways, apart from that we were also growing as a group. With first time getting to know about the concept of study groups. Also formation of clubs and committees being pioneer batch was something of an eye opener. It was not easy, every decision we made.. Every point we debated.. overall it was a learning experience. I often wondered whether I belong to MBA or not.

This part of my life is called “Vortex”

Things moved on with next term, we made friends and started partying like anything… Stress was so high that on weekends it was much needed relief. Results came and then we had a reality check. We came to know it is not so easy out here. We learned, we improved and that’s how we moved on. Also this term was involved with internship placements. We learnt to how to stand up on our own feet. There was no one to tell us that we have to do it this way.

It’s not about how hard we get hit .It is about How much we can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!

Niveshak and Markathon, which would become iconic magazines, came into force. We started experimenting with different avenues. We started showing world, Yes ,We can! And We will make  a difference. Ashutosh’s victory in Cult icon and his homecoming ceremony was something unforgettable. Every IIM S grad held his head high with pride.

This part of my life is called “Flux”

January is the time when all IIMs give calls and new admission process starts. This is the warming up stage for all our future juniors. IIM Shillong was a newbie and there was a gap in what students know about us and what all we have achieved. This was time I felt we need to reach out as we are a young institute, hence fostered the idea of a unique “Mentorship program”. I still remember the day when we floated this idea and Sarvesh shot an email to Prof. Dwivedi about it. And the reply from Sir  “Yes! go ahead!”.

This was going to be difficult I knew however as they say “passion runs high, when you have dreams in your eyes”. Every participant of IIM Shillong was away in different city. That time my partner in crime Sarvesh was also interning in Nigeria and it was difficult to execute it. Those were the two months I never got to sleep more than 3-4 hours. It was very much required that with every call getter we do full justice and we strategically used our disadvantage to advantage that is our location. Instead of mentoring students through emails we thought of meeting them. Every IIM Shillong participant was located in different city, hence our reach was wide. We met them in person, guided them and in the process made lifetime friends too.

It was an experience to reckon with when we got emails from various students stating “ IIM Shillong mentorship program was one of the best among all IIMs”. This was only possible as whole batch came by and support this. We learned “United we stand”.

This part of my life is called “Creative destruction”

Student orientation program “Footsteps”, the brain child of Sarvesh and mine. We have grown as seniors now and our juniors were going to be part of IIM S family. We wanted to give them a different experience- an experience we missed. Besides it was important that this experience be nothing short of any other IIM. IIMs fraternity is very closely guarded. It’s very hard to get any information from any other IIM about their culture and how they function generally. This being one of them. We spent sleepless nights finding out what is there that happens and what’s the scene behind the veil. Somehow with our persistent effort , we found out everything and then we devised our structure. The whole idea of this was to bring a cohesive group. What all difficulties we faced initially should not be passed on to our juniors. It was a very tough path. We did decide to take up certain activities, which I am sure would have made some of our juniors hate us. But we thought about larger picture and two years life hence of our juniors. We decided to do it, we knew we can’t explain them everything why we did. But every moment was defined with days of brain storming and outcome. Every reaction was mapped which would make us appear as Hitlers but overall for them as batch it would help develop a stronger bond and friendship.

The day this orientation was over, whole of our junior batch applauded the effort. Though it was difficult, I had tears in my eyes seeing the standing ovation. For me as a senior it was an experience of life time. For me as an IIM S stakeholder, this was transformation of passion into reality.

This part of my life is called “Ripples”

This phase was full of news and daily announcements. This was a period when juniors and seniors made a mark on every other B-school. This was the time IIM Shillong students participated with full heart. Every day we were getting news of our friends getting selected. And then started shower of prizes. “Ashwamedha”, “Masterplan” ,”Kalpavriksha” and others. Aditya and Mayank paper got published abroad and Kantha’s paper won international award. We also pulled of one of the most talked about event “IIM Shillong Golf cup successfully!”.  It was the time also when we got criticized. To sum up, A quote from movie 300

“Ours arrows will block the sun”

“Then…then we will fight in shade” and yes we did that!

We also wanted to have something of our own. A whole gang of us thought about it and tried, though it didn’t happen. “Lattice 2009” our management fest. Some decisions do not come easy and I wish Lattice could happen sometime in future for sure.

This part of my life is called “A late goodbye”

Now it’s time for us to leave. An eventful journey it has been. Morning hours rush, pink flowers , amazing clouds, starry night, earthquakes, Borne fire nights, Diwali, Colorful Holi,GPL!!, Late night submissions, Nocturnal nights, walks to remember, rock performances, Our dance preparation, PDP, autumn fest, Kopda cup ..and on and on..and on. There is not just a single memory its whole world of it which I would be taking with me. As a person, I believe I got the most to take away from here.

I learned a different meaning of courage here as put by Mary Anne Radmacher,

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”

I learned it’s like “Tour de france”. You may not win every stage, you may not always wear the yellow jersey, but in the end the one who endures and comes out on top collectively is the Winner. It’s all about FAITH

It’s good to say we were the foundation stone of IIM Shillong. And I wish all the best for our future juniors to keep the torch burning. What we have achieved in these two years is phenomenal, and this was all possible because we had the faith and “Never say die” attitude.

Never ever stop dreaming! Class of 2010 will always be with this institute, our alma mater!

Posted in MBA, My dream run | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments